Peace among death

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."



  The cemetery, a place that once brought fear into my heart, i was so afraid of them because it was full of death, and death was my ultimate fear, not so much my death but fear of those i love dying.   I would avoid any cemetery at all cost, there was no reason for me to face that fear and have the reality of death all around me. Since Grants death i have changed.  I no longer fear death and i find the cemetery to be the most peaceful and relaxing spots i have to go to.  Not just because it is quiet but i feel like i am closer to my son, even though it is just his body, he is alive in heaven i know that.  But i still have that longing to be near him and going to his grave site gives me that peace.  I could spend hours there if i could.
 The last time i was at the cemetery my heart was broken, not just over my loss but for the loss of others.  Grant is buried in what they call "Baby Land"  and in baby land there has to be over 100 babies and children who are buried there.  As i walked by each gravestone i would read the name and the date, some like my baby only had one date the day  they were born and died, while others maybe had a few months to a year marked.  It broke my heart that each one of these children would never get to experience life.  I wonder what there story was, how are there parents doing?   I hurt for the other mommy's and daddy's and families who were and are suffering over the loss of their child, i know how it feels and i don't like the thought of others having to experience this horrific nightmare that i am in. But they did, they are and its not right. 
  There were also gravestones that were from 30 plus years ago and i wonder if anyone visits their grave anymore?  Do people still remember them? because even though they only had a short life, it was a life that mattered.  But i know in my heart that all those babies are in heaven right now and that brought a peace to my heart. Another thought hit me, what if the parents do not have a relationship with Christ? I have the assurance that i will see my baby again one day, but for those who do not know Christ they don't have that and it broke my heart yet again. 
  I am so thankful that i have that future hope of being in heaven with my son one day! 1 John 5:11-12 " And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life."