Tonight at 7:30pm will officially be 7 months since our first son Grant Thomas went to be with Jesus....
Yesterday I prayed that while I was out and about that God would show me a sign, a sign that my heart would recognize letting me know that my boys are safe in heaven with the Lord. I was in the car with my friend it was raining out and I looked out the window and the whole time we were driving I saw a beautiful rainbow…never in my life have I seen a rainbow during the rain…(it is always seen after the rain it is Gods way of telling us that he would never flood the earth again.) But to see that rainbow during the storm I felt was a sign from God letting me know that he has Grant and Zachary both safely in his arms and that even though what Tom and I are going through is the worst thing anyone could face, God has shown me also speaking in symbolism…that throughout the stormy times He will always provide me a rainbow and give me a promise that He is there…even though it seems like my life is out of control….He is in control and will guide us through the deep pain and suffering and will take away the pain that makes it hard to breathe and he will heal our hearts that seem broken beyond repair and use that brokenness that will be healed as a place where we can help others who need the healing power of the Lord too.
It is not easy..the devil has made it clear that he does not want the Lord to heal us…but he has no power and authority over our lives..but he still has tried to make this healing time more difficult for us…but when i stand up to the devil with all the authority given to me in Christ he has to leave...he may try all he can to get to us, to have us turn our backs on God, he wont win....we will NEVER do that. The more I lean on the Lord for support and love him and choose to worship Him in in spite of my questions and my anger at him for allowing my sons to die…he then gives me a special grace to walk this hard road and a peace that will help to quiet the storm that surrounds me...I am not saying it is or will be easy...its hard so unbelievably hard to do...I am thankful that i serve a God who knows its hard and that i am weak...but 2 Corinthians 12:9 says that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
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