20 weeks...he was breech
One year ago today i had an ultrasound and this ultrasound is the picture above declaring that i was having a BOY! I was so happy! I wanted a boy so badly and when the tech told us within 30 seconds of our ultrasound the gender i was overwhelmed with joy. My baby was a boy and he now has a name... "Grant Thomas"
Every time i saw something blue my eyes would spot it right away, i loved shopping for his cute little clothes and toys. Decorating his nursery was so fun for me, it was also a time of bonding with Grant, i would tell him everything i was doing and whenever i would walk by his bookshelf i would take out a book and read it to my sweet little guy. I would walk by his crib with anticipation that in less then 20 weeks he would be sleeping there. I would be changing his diapers at his changing station. I would hold his blankets in my arms dreaming and looking forward to holding his sweet little body in those blankets.
My 23 week baby belly
I miss my Grant so much...i cant believe that in almost 2 months it will be the 1 year anniversary of his birth and death. He will be spending his first birthday in heaven....he will be spending all of his birthdays in heaven.
Today we went to his grave and in the flower arrangement i made for him and his brother there are 2 pin wheels and they were not moving..they were standing still. A moment later the sun came out from behind the clouds and a gush of wind came and those pinwheels were spinning so fast they looked like a sparkling rainbow of diamonds. In that moment i got a picture in my head of Grant and Zachary running in heaven together holding those pinwheels, laughing and having the best time. I started to smile....my heart started to warm up with that thought. Thank you Jesus that when i am in a moment of reflection and deep grief you allow me to have that moment where i can just get a glimpse into heavens glory.
Pictures of Grants Nursery- The only thing left was to add curtains.
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